I'm coming home, tell the world I'm coming home!

Ok so it's been give or take (hand gesture) 3.5 weeks since I've been in this rehab, I was sooooo hesitant when I first arrived here with the 'dorm' style set-up and being with people that looked so sick to me at first, but oh my God has it opened my eyes and taught me so much.  I can honestly say I'm a different person because of it and this I will forever be thankful for. 

Among the other things that I have been lucky enough to witness, I see compassion and kindness in measures that you just don't see 'in the outside world'.  I now fully understand what being fragile and vulnerable is.  It's anything but easy and your life can change in an instant and suddenly you could become completely reliant on other people, as with every single person that is here. 

My friends (naturally I made friends with pretty much everyone!  You'll be amazed what a block of butter and some honey will do!) are so brave and are all facing their own demons, each persons story is different and when you sit and listen to them, you realise that this could happen to you to.

I have the utmost respect for each one of them and I can't explain the elation you feel when someone like Nick, the 21 yr old boy who fell from the 3rd floor of a parking garage moved his legs and arms for the first time or said 'Hello Wendy'.  Everyone is so encouraging and there is so much positive energy here, you can't help but get sucked in!

Another amazing guy, I can't remember his name now, but he and his wife were at a car race and they were standing near the finish line, the driver lost control of his car and it ploughed through the barrier and into him and his wife.   Both of them lost both of their legs.  How fucking tragic is that? I've never heard anything like it and I don't think I ever will.  Yet you'll never see him without a smile on his face.  I won't bang on about this for much longer but people in general take SO MUCH for granted, the fact that you can brush your own teeth, that you can get up out of bed in the morning, that you can speak your mind when you need to or enjoy a cuppa chai.  Basic things like this are a MASSIVE struggle for some people.  I'll say it once now and once again at the end just so it sinks in, instead of thinking about what you don't have rather "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!".

From my side, my healing is going very well.  The stitches are out and the wound is healing beautifully - they do say I'm a good healer so there you go!  The next step is shaping the stump.  There is hope that I might get my first draft prosthesis by end of September!!!  Very excited and nervous about this stage of the process as I REALLY REALLY want to be able to walk and just be NORMAL again.

Tomorrow I am released back out into the real world, I don't think it has really hit me yet.  I'll tell you one thing that I'm supes stoked about is that the infection in my leg has well and truly gone now and we are FINALLY getting nearer to the end of this fucking story!  298 days later....

I find it difficult to put into words what this whole experience has done for me so far but I have really made some life long friends.  I will miss the nurses calling me Mrs. Reid (my worst), the therapists, the kitchen staff, the cleaners but most of all the other patients and their families.  Each of them plays their own role in each patients recovery.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!

 

Things can ALWAYS be worse!

Where effing hell did I leave off?

...Ok so.  Came out of ICU, went back to 'suite' at Oak Ward, asked Ortho to apply for rehab so I can recover with the proper help this time.  None of this fucking around business...March's exit was all a bit daunting and cost me a fortune (not gonna use the arm & a leg joke as it's been used before), roughly 45 mins of Physio is R500 and I was having 3 x land and 2 x hydro per week.  Don't call me Rockerfella, call me the other Fella (weak).  This on top of medicine & Uber all adds up and don't forget the Sponge {Taylor} of course!). Kidding that child of mine has been amazing, he can make me smile on my darkest days :)

Pam (Discovery) in the hotel (hospital) called me and said application was approved and I would go across to the Life Rehabilition Center.  HALLEFUCKENLUJAH!  Everything would be free and gratis this time.  Cha Ching! Just one of the many many perks of having a missing limb.  One also gets pushed to the front of any shop queue, not sure why coz I'm in a wheelchair, so if logic prevails I should be at the back coz I'm seated innit....Anyway.

This is Thursday, by the Friday I was being shipped out. I was not prepared for this, I had only had the surgery a week before for KERRIST SAKES!  I was expecting to spend another week lying around healing. WTF!  But thank goodness Emmie-Lou came to visit me, she wheeled me over for a little rekkie so I wasn't anxious and got a little feel for the place before it was thrust upon me!  We could kind of work out which bed was mine because it was the only empty bed in the female rooms.  The place looked more like a morgue than a rehab centre and not quite the solitary rooms I had become accustomed to.  We're talking 5-bed wards, with only a curtain for privacy, other woman of all ages, all of whom had faced some kind of trauma that they needed rehab for;  as Emma and Taylor know, I can bang on about these people for hours, they just amaze me and what they have to face on a daily basis is ... kind of cruel but when you see them making progress it's amazing and it's a real heart warmer.  It's amazing how quickly you get attached and you just want them to recover 100% so badly!!! 

Am I boring you now or are you still listening???  Tough, Wendal will bang on regardless.

I have always felt that there is always someone worse off than you so you should be grateful for what you have blah whatevs etcetera but FUCK ME, there are some people in here that struggle to perform even the most simple daily tasks, let alone roll from their back onto their side.  Can you imagine that?

Or what about the mother Jean who sits daily at her teenage boys side,  he fell off the 3rd floor of a parking garage and has been pretty much brain damaged and paralysed for 5 weeks, but this week has been moving his legs and is looking more awake than ever.  He also has the best room in the house which makes me happy.

Christina my friend, who wears the brightest pink lipstick you've EVER seen. One day she was going about her business as a happy as larry retired bank manager and the next she's had two strokes in one day.  Thank goodness her dog was barking so loud the neighbours heard and came and called the ambulance.  She's really lovely and I spoil her loads. I like her sarcastic sense of humour.

Oh ja, funny story, so if you know me, you'd know I HATE an injustice, towards me especially but towards somebody else even more.  When I first arrived I started to notice little things like people's bells ringing and the nurses not responding quick enough (for my liking), patients in pain and not being attended to etc.  The one night the lady next to me was writhing around in agony and after 30 mins, nobody had come and I couldn't take it anymore so I wheeled myself over to her bed and held her hand and rubbed her leg to try and help her cope with the spasms that she gets in her legs.  Just so she didn't feel alone you now.  She also, was living a very full life and slipped and fell after brushing her teeth one evening and is now paralysed.  She's also making lovely progress.  Her name is Linda and her bed is opposite mine.  We have good chats her and I.  She's a bit of a tree hugger.

Ja like I said I can go on and on ... oh yes the point of my story.... so ANYWAYS....the Matron called me in to say that the nurses have complained about me and I mustn't interfere with the patients!  HAHA I was like er....well you shouldn't hire crap staff then innit.

Some of the nurses you can see were born to do this and they're following a calling where others are completely useless and have no bedside manner whatsoever.  DRIVES ME MAAAAAD!!!!!  I am currently not actively interfering, I get Linda to do it now. I don't want to get kicked out!

I try



Comfy



It's the only way :)

For my friends & family that are so supportive

I did my nails quite well if I may say so myself!

My lovely dinner!

All my junk food from my colleages!

Back to my happy self!

Leroy my old physio guy moving me to rehab

My porzie at rehab

 From my side, I've been focussing on everyone else practising my Pollyanna theory (going around and being glad and just trying to make everyone's stay a little nicer).  Things I have been doing that have really gone down well.

1.  Making peeps avo on toast in the mornings
2.  Sharing my magazines
3.  Buying / Sharing my sweets with the nurses
4.  Doing the menu's for the kitchen staff
5.  Buying things for people who don't have any visitors or family
6.  Sharing Chelle's delicious home-made 'sweet ol' lady' marmelaaaade! (very apt...)

In closing, I will say that besides the actual physio side, this place has been more of an eye opener in terms of a whole other world that we all tend to ignore unless you've got someone in your family that is disabled.  I wasn't here for a lot of the time after my Mom's strokes and I have to say that I have a new found respect for my Dad who has been looking after my Mom since her strokes began.  I only wish that she could have been to a place like this.

 I think I've said enough now so, that is all.
 

Off with her LEG!

So D-Day finally comes, I'm SO ready for it.  Feels like I made the decision weeks ago but it's only been 4 days.  I'm like "Let's do this already....."

Anyways, the Anaesthetist comes to see me to tell me what's going to happen, basically they're going to give me an epidural to completely numb me from the waist down and then they're going to put me in a coma.  Marvellous - I'm happy with this, as long as I don't feel anything I'm happy as Larry.  This part all goes well and I'm off to sleep.  I wake up in the ICU a couple of hours later, OMG I'm in such pain and they won't give me any more pain killers, they say I've had enough.  What the fuck do they know??!  I want to KILL someone.  Assholes.  Taylor and Sarah have brought me a Steers burger...Eventually the pain subsides and I smash that burger and down the Coke (a must after any operation!), slowly I relax and start watching 'How to be Single'.  I love this movie.  

Next thing the flipping suction machine starts beeping and the nurses say that there's something wrong. What now?  They call the doctor immediately, he comes and has a look.  The wound is bleeding, he needs to take the dressing off...WHILE I"M AWAKE!!! FFS - are these people maaaaaad? Anyway, it has to be done so I carry on and watch the movie while he reopens the wound and redresses it.  I feel like puking.  I feel the throb of the blood gushing out of my leg - next thing the blood pressure machine starts beeping and I've gone WHITE, started sweating and blood pressure is the lowest its ever been, I'm about to pass out so they give me this stuff through the drip and slowly I start to feel better.  By this time he's finished.  The whole time the movie is playing in the background...I'm thinking 'What the hell is he thinking'...He goes home and tells the nurses to watch for any bleeding.  I carry on watching the movie, before the movie is even over the nurses come and check and ... lo and behond ... there's more bleeding.  FUUUUUCK!  They phone the doctor and he says he's coming back now and we're going into back into theatre, never mind the burger and coke I've just smashed...they don't care.  Anyway, to cut an already long story short, he redresses the wound and the bleeding stops but I'm in BAD BAD pain, my leg is spasming so badly, like every 20 minutes.  I cannot handle it and just want to fucking die!  Me and pain are not mates!  Thank God for the one nurse who takes pity on me and pushes the Morphine from 4mg/hour to 10mg/hour - after that I was able to handle the spasms by breathing through them and I slept the rest of the night through.

Wednesday:  Nothing interesting happened but my Guardian Angel was there again that night and again she cranked up the Morphine and I slept the night through - why don't they just do this for everyone? All I can think of is those poor people that don't get so lucky!  I'm grateful.

Thursday: Back in Surgery.  Didn't like the way the Anaesthetist put me under, he tricked me and didn't do the count down. What kind ekse?! Fuck me when I woke up I was SOBBING and in the most incredible pain I've ever been in, was actually probably more sore than giving birth to Taylor (and I've never said that before).  Thank God Emma was there when I opened up my eyes, she sat with me and held my hand while I sobbed in pain.  Thankfully I only had one spasm and finally the pain subsided and again my Guardian Angel hit me with 10mg/hour of Morphine. Bliss....

Friday:  I wake up feeling like a different person!  I have no pain.  I leave the ICU in the morning happy, smiling and waving to everyone!!  Off to OAK WARD 1...









My Morphine Dreams

My Mantra

Meet 'The Leg'

{Wishful Thinking}

19th July 2016 is THE BIG DAY~~~I am going to have a through-the-knee amputation of my left leg.  What the fuck?  No man!  How did I get here? 

Until a few days ago, I couldn't even hear the word amputation without feeling sick, let alone talking about it or even researching it.  But our minds, as do our bodies - heal and allow you to move forward.

So, I'm back in hospital AGAIN.  Night 154 out of 264 days since the car accident that changed my life forever.  The actual surgery part doesn't scare me as I have had 21 operations whilst trying to save the leg in question.  That I'm pretty sure I can handle.  What I'm scared of is the pain afterwards and what's also daunting is the amount of effort that is going to be required throughout the rehabilitaiton stage. 

Coping Mechanism:{Wishful Thinking}
Although, I've decided as a rule of thumb that I will only be taking each day as it comes - this way I should never feel overwhelmed and hopefully it will all be over before I know it. 

I have been trying to understand why I agonised and cried so much over making the decision but haven't really shed any tears since then.  It eventually took my 20 year old son, Taylor, to talk some sense into me.  He told me I needed to opt for the amputation and that was that.  I haven't cried since then, I suppose when you've made up your mind about something it becomes a reality and one kicks into the mode to just get things done.  Well for me anyways.

Things I've realised thus far:-

1. I have the most incredible son in the world
2. I'm not feeling sad / sorry for myself, what I find is that I'm more upset about hurting the people closest to you.
3. Your friends will really go above and beyond to help you
4. Kindness from random strangers is always appreciated
5. I'm going to miss my toenails

My 1st amputee Joke:-

Cape Town will cost you an arm and a leg, or just half a leg in my case :)

Joslyns 1st amputee Joke (unintentional)

Oooh I didn't know that, I'm stumped....(no pun intended)

2014 in a nutshell...

OMG New Years Day was absolute debauchery!  It was spent at The Hatchery with my girls! Sooooo much fun but remind me NEVER to let Suzy pour me a drink!  One of those and I was done for the rest of the day.  No need to get into the details.

OK so I made a decision that 2014 was going to be the year that I would start preliminary searches for the love of my life...

WHAT I WANTED: Male older than 28 who is ....

1. Kind
2. Intelligent
3. Funny
4. Tertiary Education

HOW I WAS GONNA GET IT:

1. Ask friends/family/colleagues strangers to keep an eye out for suitable candidates
2. Tinder (don't ask, 3 dates later and I was done but that's a whole other story!)
3. Talk to anyone because you never know ....

It didn't work so I changed my strategy to:

GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND THE RIGHT PERSON WILL APPEAR!

Oleedaze and new beginnings

Reet (said in scottish accent), so I haven't written in a while....no real excuse other than I just haven't felt like it.

So, it's 2013 now...and already I have some travel plans in the pipeline - Croatia for Electric Elephant, Ibiza (oets oets) and Mozambique on the social front and Mumbai, Dubai, Sri Lanka on the work front!  All very exciting!!!

Recently went to Cape Town for a week and was reminded of how much I love it.

The plan is to buy a property there this year and then move there in 2015.  Maybe not forever, but for a few years anyway!
 

But for now, lets talk twenty-thirteen!

Game Plan is as follows:-

• Be FIT FUNNY GIRL instead of being FAT FUNNY GIRL!  Which means restoring my temple back to it's former glory.  Refer to diagram below (note air-punches - exercising whilst on the jol goes a long way)

 

• Treat life as a 'working holiday' i.e. not doing the same effing thing eeeeevery weekend i.e. boozing...do DIFFERENT things
• Not to get sucked into other peoples drama

Over and out x

Easter Lunch Inspiration Board

Looking foward to our Easter Lunch with my family and friends on Sunday, here is my Inspiration Board.