19th July 2016 is THE BIG DAY~~~I am going to have a through-the-knee amputation of my left leg. What the fuck? No man! How did I get here?
Until a few days ago, I couldn't even hear the word amputation without feeling sick, let alone talking about it or even researching it. But our minds, as do our bodies - heal and allow you to move forward.
So, I'm back in hospital AGAIN. Night 154 out of 264 days since the car accident that changed my life forever. The actual surgery part doesn't scare me as I have had 21 operations whilst trying to save the leg in question. That I'm pretty sure I can handle. What I'm scared of is the pain afterwards and what's also daunting is the amount of effort that is going to be required throughout the rehabilitaiton stage.
Coping Mechanism:{Wishful Thinking}
Although, I've decided as a rule of thumb that I will only be taking each day as it comes - this way I should never feel overwhelmed and hopefully it will all be over before I know it.
I have been trying to understand why I agonised and cried so much over making the decision but haven't really shed any tears since then. It eventually took my 20 year old son, Taylor, to talk some sense into me. He told me I needed to opt for the amputation and that was that. I haven't cried since then, I suppose when you've made up your mind about something it becomes a reality and one kicks into the mode to just get things done. Well for me anyways.
Things I've realised thus far:-
Cape Town will cost you an arm and a leg, or just half a leg in my case :)
Joslyns 1st amputee Joke (unintentional)
Oooh I didn't know that, I'm stumped....(no pun intended)
Until a few days ago, I couldn't even hear the word amputation without feeling sick, let alone talking about it or even researching it. But our minds, as do our bodies - heal and allow you to move forward.
So, I'm back in hospital AGAIN. Night 154 out of 264 days since the car accident that changed my life forever. The actual surgery part doesn't scare me as I have had 21 operations whilst trying to save the leg in question. That I'm pretty sure I can handle. What I'm scared of is the pain afterwards and what's also daunting is the amount of effort that is going to be required throughout the rehabilitaiton stage.
Coping Mechanism:{Wishful Thinking}
Although, I've decided as a rule of thumb that I will only be taking each day as it comes - this way I should never feel overwhelmed and hopefully it will all be over before I know it.
I have been trying to understand why I agonised and cried so much over making the decision but haven't really shed any tears since then. It eventually took my 20 year old son, Taylor, to talk some sense into me. He told me I needed to opt for the amputation and that was that. I haven't cried since then, I suppose when you've made up your mind about something it becomes a reality and one kicks into the mode to just get things done. Well for me anyways.
Things I've realised thus far:-
- I have the most incredible son in the world
- I'm not feeling sad / sorry for myself, what I find is that I'm more upset about hurting the people closest to you.
- Your friends will really go above and beyond to help you
- Kindness from random strangers is always appreciated
- I'm going to miss my toenails
Cape Town will cost you an arm and a leg, or just half a leg in my case :)
Joslyns 1st amputee Joke (unintentional)
Oooh I didn't know that, I'm stumped....(no pun intended)
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